For my sake

Yesterday was Hayden's first day of kindergarden, a day I have been dreading since about the middle of the school year last year when we had to start making  preparations.  While I still cant believe this time has come, I can honestly say I am glad it has.  I am excited for the next chapter in our lives and while saying goodbye to the last one is always hard,  I chose to just embrace the change, knowing it was inevitable, and tried my best to make the most of it.  After months of a grieving heart, I decided it was time for a more celebratory approach.  So we shopped excitedly (well, most of the time) for new clothes and gear, made a paper chain to count down the days, baked a cake in the shape of a pencil and ate our fill and yesterday morning he received a huge bag full of all kinds of fun toys and school things (just for home - they are not allowed to bring anything to school but a backpack!).  I think Hayden was more excited about Kindergarden than anything else in his whole life.  It made my heart so glad to see him so excited I could ward off the sadness and tears pretty well. As we walked through the school grounds and in the classroom door I sensed a little anxiety and uncertainty in him.  There was a lot of commotion in such a big new place.  But I was so proud to see him decide to just face his fear and bravely walk on, away from me and into a huge sea of newness, knowing there was a lot in store for him.  This was one of the most precious moments in my life as mom so far.  I will never forget it.  In effort to further commemorate the moment, MY moment, I made this video.  (Yes, I was the abnoxious mom with several different photo and video devices hanging on all sides of me - and proud of it!)  

The words scrolling at the end don't show well. Here's what's written:

I will always remember these moments as I walked away from Hayden at his very first day of school.  This day marked the bittersweet end of a precious season in our lives and the beginning of an exciting new chapter sure to be filled with lots of fun and adventure with my BEAUTIFUL BOY.   

Ganyos and McCartys

December 2001

July 2009 ( 7.5 years and 5 kids later!)

5.

I cant believe I have been on this journey called motherhood for 5 years now.  That is longer than I was in college, longer than anything else I have ever committed myself to (except my marriage, of course!).

Hayden, my firstborn, stole my heart 5 years ago and I still do not have it back.  I never will. There was NOTHING in this world like holding him for the very first time, my very first moments as mom.  My life was forever changed in an instant.  My heart is forever mush.  

It's amazing how over these 5 years so much has changed yet so much is still the same.  He has grown from baby to toddler to kid, gone from unintelligible babbler to super articulator, from picky eater to super eater, the list goes on...but he has always, from the moment he was born, been a wide-eyed, intense little guy; active and aggressive yet sensitive and sweet.  Social, extroverted, curious, talkative, outgoing and slightly mischievous - he has always been these things.  Our challenges in parenting him have come with his countless attempts, some being quite intelligent and strategic for his age, to wield control in situations, to gain the upper hand and prove himself as victor in the battle to be in charge.  It is also difficult to keep up with his endless energy, respond creatively to his 101 questions a day about everything from why God made all the planets to why we have toes and get him to FINALLY lay his head down and go to sleep at the end of the day.   He never wants to miss a thing.  One of the most grievous things in his life at this moment is the inequity of parents being allowed to stay up later than kids. He loves trains, airplanes, tractors, boats, race cars, motorcycles, toyotas, baseball, gymnastics, swimming and helping take care of his baby sister.  His excitement and enthusiasm about all these things and more make experiencing life with him so enjoyable.  I treasure being able to discover and explore with him.  While motherhood in general is making me feel old, Hayden's unadulterated passion sends a fresh spirit of youthfulness  through my soul.  Try as I may, words will never describe my immense love for him, my firstborn, my Hayden James.

Here's the birthday boy upon receiving his gift.  A BIG thank you to Grandma and Grandpa and Mimi and Papa!!!

And THANK YOU Grandpa for the awesome shirts and sweatshirt. LOVE the firing itish!!

30.

Phew.  We will always remember Brian's 30th b-day no matter how hard we may try to forget certain moments

like.....

.....crying (and almost hyperventilating) at the check-in counter in the airport begging the Southwest lady to get us home before the 5:00 when the surprise party was to begin.

Our trouble began when we arrived at a crowded John Wayne airport a generous 60 min before our flight (waiting at the gate is so overrated) with 5 suitcases, 2 car seats and one huge, 5 ft long box containing Hayden's birthday present - a 10 ft trampoline.  The man we purchased the tramp from assured us it was about 80 lbs.   Being deficient in our ability to judge weight ourselves, we assumed he was correct and that we could check the big box on the plane and just have to pay the oversize fee of 50$. No problem.  After waving goodbye to our luggage and car seats as they disappeared from the carousel into airport oblivion, we learned the box really weighed 150 lbs, and would not be allowed on the plane.  We frantically tried to separate the contents of the box into 2 packages (without Hayden figuring out what it was) to get them on the plane in the few minutes we had before our plane was to leave but to no avail....we were too late.  The real bad news came when we learned that all other flights leaving OC that day were overbooked and there was no way we could go home.  EXTREMELY distressed, (poor Brian was quite confused by my seemingly over-reactionary behavior but figures I have been known to be a little freaky these days.) I convinced the check-in lady to re-route us to L.A. and book us boarding passes there, convinced my equally distressed parents to caravan us up to L.A. (we didn't fit in one car) and tried to convince Brian of some good reason as to why I was acting so weird (without telling him there was going to be a houseful of people waiting to yell 'surprise' at him in a few hours.).  All was well again until I realized that our car seats were already on their way to Sac and being that the kids had to ride in my dad's convertible, I was not about to let them ride without them!  After frantically working that mess out (thank you, Ryan!) we arrived in L.A. and had 3 lovely hours of waiting with 3 very bored kids.  Luckily we ran into Blake Griffin, formerly unknown to me, some fancy NBA draft pic, which added some excitement to our terrible day.  Brian, in a star-struck stupor, asks him "so, you guys going somewhere?"  Maybe he thought NBA stars just hang out in airports for fun!  He let us take a picture with him after Brian tried to make it sound like it was Hayden who was the one interested in him.  I think Hayden blew the cover when he said "dad, what's a professional?" 

If further effort to redeem the day, I asked the steward on the plane to sing a southwest happy birthday to the boys and he obliged.  The rest of the evening was a blast.  Thanks to all those who came and celebrated with us.  

29.

I feel old.  I am wondering if turning 29 is almost worse than turning 30.  Here at 29, I am feeling all kinds of pressure to do certain things, figure out who I am and how I really want to live before the dreaded day arrives.  The words "only one more year" keep ringing in my ears. It's almost as if my life is going to end at 30.  I have this (what I hope to be) false idea in my head that youth ends at 30 when, in reality, I will not be surprised if I actually feel younger a year from now.  In this present season I feel as though life has taken a baseball bat and hit me over the head with it a few times (I may have enough blue-ish purple color underneath my eyes to prove it!).  I am always tired, my brian is on hiatus, I have no personal space anymore, my hair is falling out by the handfuls (thanks hormones!) and I pee when I run.  

I think part of the reason I feel this pressure to get myself together this year is because I look to my 30's as hopefully being more consistent, even, less "all over the place" for lack of a better term.  In my 20's I really have been all over the place - physically (SoCal, NorCal; North America, South America),  emotionally (pregnant, not; pregnant, not; pregnant, not), AND  mentally (loosing brian cells by the baby!-starting businesses here and there!).  I look forward to things being more of the same (I cant believe I just said that!).  Something tells me that I am in for a disappointing reality check that no matter how hard you work to figure things out (like how to best arrange the car seats in the car, how to get places on time, how to plan summer activities without making your family go insane - any thoughts on that one are appreciated, I am currently failing AGAIN!) you are always one step behind because as soon as you do, things change (kid grows out of car seat and now needs a new one in a new spot, things keep starting earlier and earlier and summer is over and holidays are here AHHH !).  Will there ever be an equilibrium here in the land of motherhood??? Someone please tell me there is.  I have always been good at 'going with the flow', so to speak, and have never been too terribly adverse to change but this is just getting to be too much.  30's save me!  It's no wonder they tell you it goes by fast.  It's hard to really feel present somewhere, someplace in time, when your head is spinning so fast.  I even went to the eye doctor because the chaos in my brian makes me feel like I cant see, can't focus.  Ironically, my eye sight has actually improved. Ha!  

Anyway, maybe I am feeling this way because I am still just adjusting to having 3 kids.  I just fear I will never stop having to adjust.  If that is the case, I guess I'll survive.  In fact, I may even be better for it - always desperate for the Lord's strength and always humbled by my inability to keep it together.  Yes, now that I think about it, that is probably the better way to live.  I only wish the Beatitudes were more explicit and said something like "blessed is the sad mom who is disorganized, frazzled, sleep deprived and slightly neurotic, SHE will inherit the earth."  

O Lord, be my rest, at 29 and forever.....

Spread the news about Bellybou'!

 You can now shop at Bellybou' online! We are doing everything we can to get the word out about our newly launched webstore.  We can use your help.  You can tell all your friends about us , you can link us to your blog , you can write a quick post on your blog WITH a link to www.bellybou.com (thanks so much to those who have already!) OR you can do ALL of them!!  If you want to be a superstar supporter of Bellybou' you can copy this paragraph below and post it to your blog or website!! (Our google tracker will let us know if surfers arrive at our site via yours.  If they do , we will enter you into a drawing to win free coffee (starbucks gift cards).  All the linking activity will help us be recognized by various search engines and is very beneficial to us.  If you up for some shameless promotion of your friends here at Bellybou', we are forever grateful!

"Best Online Maternity and Baby Boutique!!
Hey friends and family! Wanted to tell you about a new online boutique some friends of mine have started. It's at www.bellybou.com and it's got a great selection of designer maternity denim, and designer maternity brands you can't find in your chain maternity stores! It also has a fun selection of hip baby clothes and all the newest baby accessories! It's aSacramento Maternity boutique but now they are able to offer more than just Roseville Maternity, with the webstore they've made stylish maternity clothes available to everyone! So check them out atwww.bellybou.com and help spread the word!"

Thanks to all our friends for your tremendous support of our store!

Photoshoot

For those who dont know, Elena joins me on my days working at Bellybou'. We have such a great time. It is so nice to have some solid time with just her. When at home there is very little time for me to just sit and hold her. She spends most of her time in and out of the car taxi-ing brother and sister around and if not that, she is usually hanging out on the floor or in the swing. But, at Bellybou, we talk and laugh and dance (only when really bored) and best of all...have impromptu photoshoots. I have recently spent countless hours in our studio (the dressing room) taking shots of all our inventory for our upcomming webstore (T-2 weeks till launch - stay tuned!!!) - i usualy get some good shots of Elena too.

Hayden Rides A Bike

Hayden just took off on his new bike as soon as we brought it home. No training wheels here (I cried when I first saw him do it, how did he get so big???)

Elena at 4 months

She has the most outrageous hair. It sticks straight up in a mohawk after its been washed (which, I wont lie, it not often). We just cant get enough of these precious faces!



Welcome Elena Jane!

Born January 20 2009 - 2:55 pm - 8lbs 9oz - 21 inches - BEAUTIFUL!

The dolls and the tutu's are here to stay!!
The Ganyo family count is now GIRLS: 3 BOYS: 2

Here are some pics of our precious baby girl.


Pumpkin Patch Pics

It's that time of year and every blog has them. We certainly couldn't go without.
You'll notice a few pics of our carvings in there - we were so bumbed because they rotten the very next day! We were really proud though, Hayden carved the bat. There is also a pic of a new family ritual - Bear rides up the stairs. Its so fun to watch the kids try to stay on all the way to their room. We have had a few casualties but nothing too serious yet.

Halloween Party

First, notice the number of kids in this picture. Then notice that they are in our back yard! We ended up with 27 (relieving compared to the 40 that were invited) kids at our house for Hayden and Halle's Halloween Party. I NEVER intended to get myself into such an undertaking. But, when I mentioned to Hayden that we could have a little Halloween Party and invite a some preschool friends, I didn't realize that to Hayden, 'preschool friends' means his whole entire class! As we sat down to decide who to invite, and I could tell that Hayden had no intention of discriminating between those he was "better friends" with than others, I knew we would be inviting ALL 31 friends. I was not about to encourage him to be selective, that day will come soon enough I'm sure.
It turned out to be a huge success. Brian was super helpful and built a tower of hay in the yard for the kids to climb and jump on. My mother in law saved the day by renting tables and chairs, baking all the cookies for decorating, facilitating many of the stations and most important, keeping the kids from entering the house with their glass of "spooky punch" which was lemonade with black food coloring and dry ice in it. It was a great opportunity to talk to Hayden about the role of being a host and serving people in our home, which coincidentally was the theme of the current unit in his AWANA curriculum. It was also a great opportunity for me to connect more with some of the other preschool moms that I don't know well. Moms of classmates is one of my main communities I am connected to these days and I know that it will remain so for some time as the kids get older. I really value the relationships that I have with other moms and look forward to times like these to further solidify them. It took a day or so to recover but we all survived and now I am feeling off the hook for any sort of Christmas festivity!

Psalty and the Pink Fishy

We had so much fun this Halloween and I must say I was very fulfilled by the costume selection. In previous years I have felt torn by my desire to keep things simple, not spend much money or energy on such an undeserving holiday but also wanting to take the opportunity to be creative, encourage creativity in my kids and live up to my moms standard of NEVER (not once in my whole childhood!) succumbing to the cheesy store bought commercial and licensed character costumes.

At first, I thought we would just reuse our costumes from last year because they all still fit. Sounded simple and better yet, FREE. Then Hayden kept telling me several different things he wanted to be, all of which would have been tough to pull off. But when he geniusly thought of dressing as Psalty the singing songbook, a beloved character in our family, I knew I was going to have to step up to the task. Despite a very busy October and little time to spend on it, I was pretty happy with the final product. I decided at the last minute not to make him wear blue tights and a leotard underneath. Halle said from the start, despite her choice of princess costumes already in her closet, that she wanted to be a pink fishy. I had to comply with her requests as well but you will notice from the pics that she wore several different outfits in for our pre-day activities because the fishy did not come to be until 1 hr before we left for trick or treating Friday afternoon. Halle and I went to the fabric store and she chose the exact fabric she wanted, this was the best I could do.

I must also write about how proud we were of Hayden. He wore his costume to his Halloween party, to his preschool field trip where they performed Halloween songs for the elderly at a retirement home, and all day on Halloween. It was awkward and cumbersome and I think at times he was a bit embarrassed knowing that his costume, especially among a group of 4 year olds, was very different. But, he stuck it out, confident in his excitement about being Psalty. It was also a fun opportunity to tell his friends (and for me to tell his friends parents) who he was supposed to be! Very few actually knew.

Enjoy the pics!

HSM3

I cant help myself.  I was just reminded of my enthusiasm by the Sara Lee commercial that features the cast and I have to announce to that I LOVE HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL.  I dragged Brian to the theater to see it last weekend (he still hasn't forgiven me) and it was awesome.  The acting is horrible, the cheese is unbelievably sickening but the dancing and the ensemble pieces are so great.  And, its just good wholesome fun.  Go see it.

I'm Back.

Its been too long since I've had the time to sit down and blog.  We have been super busy around here or at least it feels like it because I have the energy level of a sloth these days (not to mention the physical resemblance).

But, at the present moment, I am sitting on the couch ALONE in the house watching Live with Regis and Kelly.  GLORY!!!!! I have some fun new pics to post so we'll see how far I get........

If you are one of the rare few who still actually check my blog despite the long silence, I thank you for staying interested.

 

To Know or Not To Know

.....that is the question.

Well, it WAS anyway.  The answer has since been decided.  

Ever since we knew we were expecting again we had been undecided about whether or not to find out the sex of the baby.  The fact that we even considered not knowing was unusual for us but once we had one of each, I felt different about the issue.  It's funny to me how much our indecision allowed others to feel the liberty to express their thoughts on the matter.  You would never say to someone who knew what they were having "oh, its way better not to find out!" but since I was questioning it, I heard it all the time.  I was hesitant to agree though.  Others I spoke with (it is often a topic of conversation with strangers because I work in a maternity store!) who had obviously known the sex of their children would often makes comments like "oh, you're so strong for waiting it out" or "I never had the strength to do that" as if it's some noble deed that requires extra determination and good will.  The funny thing is that even though I often told people I didn't plan to find out, the truth was I really wasn't sure what I was going to do.  I didn't feel like I had enough of a reason not to know (other than just to be able to say that I didn't).

So, as the day approached, Brian and I got to talking about it a little more seriously.  The great part about that is that we actually had time to talk at all, a rare occasion in this season of life! We were afforded some time to go on a date (thank you Jenny and Ryan!) for our anniversary (6 years!, phew!) and after discussing various reasons as to why we would or would not want to find out, we made our decision.  The thought of it was, at very first, offensive to me but overtime, I started to get more used to it. In the end, it was obviously right for us.

So............I do not know the gender of the baby I am carrying in my belly nor will I find out until he/she is born.  Brian, on the other hand, had a private viewing of the genitals this afternoon and DOES know the baby's sex.  I was able to watch his face as the mystery was unveiled to him which was rather neat.  His response gave me no hint and I trust he will continue to keep the secret well.  He will tell no one until the final announcement on the day of delivery. 

Once again, I would have liked to scan and post a picture of the little peanut for you to see but the process is still too time consuming for me to commit to right now.  I thought I'd pass on the google photos this time though.